Everyone has a picture in their minds of the dream honeymoon after your perfect wedding. Maybe it's backpacking through Europe and visiting fairytale castles; maybe it's going to a pampering resort and focusing on each other.

You can identify the best honeymoon for you and your new spouse if you ask yourself the following questions...

Do you want your dream honeymoon and your perfect wedding in the same place?

This is called a destination wedding. If you wanted a big wedding, you will have to scale back a lot to do this, but on the other hand, how wonderful to share your honeymoon with the people you love best in the world! For older couples, sometimes a destination wedding, without tons of guests but with lots of time to focus on one another, is ideal.

If you do this, you won't have to rush off to the airport, pack twice, or even take off your wedding dress that day.

Near or far – how much travel do you want to do for the honeymoon?

This is both a budget and a personal preference question. A honeymoon isn't about visiting exotic locations around the world; it's about spending time on the two of you. There are wonderful places you've never seen within two hundred miles of your home if you just think about it. If this is what the decision comes down to, opt for a longer honeymoon close to home as opposed to a short one far away. Give yourselves the gifts of one another.

Save or splurge – should we go into debt for our honeymoon?

This is up to you. Obviously, entering debt before marriage (especially after a big wedding ceremony) is not the greatest idea; but if the debt is manageable and it makes the difference between an adequate resort and a fantastic dream honeymoon, you should go for it. You'll only have one honeymoon. Make the most of it.

Sun and sand, or whitewater rafting?

You and your fiancé are different people and may have different tastes - he prefers the excitement of a 8-hour trip down a class 4 rapids, while you want to lie on a white table with cucumbers over your eyes getting a super-deep massage. They're not mutually exclusive.

One of the delights of marriage is that you each get to try what the other loves. Look for a resort that serves both of you. A ski lodge with a luxury spa. An all-inclusive cruise with destinations in the whitewater heaven of Costa Rica. And then you both need to try the fun the other has chosen.

What about learning something new together?

Approach this with caution. Your first lesson may convince one or both of you that you hate skiing or snorkeling.

Trying something new together is great when it works, but you should hedge your bets by making it part of a larger vacation. Don't plan every second out, either. No more than 20% of your time should be rigidly structured; the rest, for your honeymoon, should be malleable to suit your moods of the moment.

What if he wants a cruise, and I want a resort? I hate the water!

You know, you can blend it. He may like cruises, but you can do a three day cruise ending in a nice stay at an all-inclusive resort. Why do you hate the water? If it's a genuine phobia, you need to discuss this with your fiancé. If, however, it's just an aversion, give it a chance. Perhaps you had a rotten cruise a few years back, or it makes you think of an ex. A great experience this time can revive your enthusiasm for the water.